We live in a society where anyone and everyone’s ideas are widely promulgated, especially throughout all forms of the media. One of the first things we often do when we wake up is “check in” to see what is going on in the world. Some of us read the newspaper, others turn on the television to watch the news. Others check their phone and scroll through to catch up on what people are saying about others and the world.

It is important to recognize that what someone says or does in one country is no longer privately exclusive to those people, but is public knowledge to the world, which can impact decisions made elsewhere and then trickle throughout our planet.

This same philosophy is true for the microcosmic worlds that each and everyone of us live in. What we say or do, doesn’t just have an effect on us, but also influences other lives, which can have a lifetime effect and set the tone or even foundation for their personal states-of-mind and the decisions they make.

WHERE YOUR ATTENTION GOES, YOUR ENERGY FLOWS

Unfortunately, a lot of what we see these days triggers the antithesis of a happy and peaceful state of mind and sends us reeling into a fight or flight response where we are taxed on a daily basis, shouldering the burden of unnecessary chronic stressors. Despite being inundated with messages of hate, violence, fear, sickness, death, division, and mere uncertainty for what tomorrow brings, there are practices that you can put into place to move forward toward a life of peace, happiness, and fulfillment.

IT COMES DOWN TO EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

From my experience working with parents, educators, and children for over two decades, I have come to realize the importance that lies in understanding and strengthening our intra- and interpersonal “emotional intelligence” and owning the impact that we have individually and collectively as communities on other people’s psyches (especially young people) and their overall mind-body-spirit development.

With that said, there is an amalgam of factors that contributes to how we think, perceive our world, analyze, judge, and evaluate our surroundings. One of the first steps we must take to grow our world in the direction we ideally envision, is to “clear out the weeds” so to speak. We must remove any (mis) perceptions or pre-conceived notions we may have and allow for new ideas and ways of thinking to penetrate and foster our minds – without imposing judgment on them as “right or wrong.”

When we turn our attention onto daily actions that are in our control to make a positive difference in someone’s life, we will no longer be “waiting on the world to change” (as John Mayer wrote). We will no longer sit back and watch “who will make the next move” or put our faith in one person or group to be the savior from all of our problems.

WE DON’T KNOW WHAT WE DON’T KNOW

Much of this may seem like common sense understanding to you as to how we should act in accordance with others in our world. However, we must realize that the choices we make are inherently dictated by what we know (or for that matter “don’t know”) and believe to be our personal truths.

If you can take a step back for just a moment and cut yourself some slack to realize that knowing that you don’t have everything figured out in life is perfectly okay. There is no shame or weakness in realizing that your beliefs may be limiting and being open to new possibilities. Your awareness of your own thinking processes opens up even greater opportunities for growth and deeper understanding throughout your life. And no matter where life has brought you, there is plenty of time to learn, innovate, and grow yourself into the person you wish to become.

This transformational shift starts by keeping an open mind and being aware that where your attention goes, your energy flows and becomes your state of mind. This principle does not deviate from person-to-person and does not discriminate based on age, gender, race, ethnicity, etc.

THREE SELF-CARE MINDSET STRATEGIES

Now that I’ve laid out the premise for what is needed to effectively make positive change in your life, here are three actionable steps that you can take today that will help make that change and positively shape your outlook on life through uncertain and tumultuous times.

1. Live in a state of gratitude and appreciation. – Before you rise out of bed each day, give thanks for at least five things you are grateful for in your life. Say them with feeling and utter conviction. Repeat the process before you go to sleep for the day.

2. Surrender yourself to a higher power. – I firmly feel that the problems that we deem ours are part of a grander plan. Giving your problems to that higher power (God, Source, Universe, etc.) to figure out is a big part of self-care and having faith that there is a greater plan at work for our greater good.

3. Separate yourself from your body, surroundings, and time. – This strategy may be the most challenging of the three. This requires your mind to sit still and go from an active beta brain wave activity to an alpha or theta) brain wave functioning where you are not focusing too hard on any one particular thing, but rather feeling this wakeful relaxation. Personally, I enjoy doing Tai Chi and Qigong in my basement, while listening to meditation music in a frequency around 432 Hz, which resonates with Earth’s natural frequency. I would encourage you to take up some form of meditation on a regular basis. Start small and slow, yet remain consistent.

When you are “no one”, “no where” in “no time,” you are inviting a new consciousness to arrive and guide you toward healing and self-awareness like never before.

For a complete guide to help you and your family’s overall well-being during these challenging times, from all things healthy home to eating, moving, sleeping, and thinking well strategies, grab a free copy of my 25-page WHOLE LOTTA LIVING GUIDE here.

Other helpful resources: How to be patient: building calm composure

Work with me personally! I am currently open to clients for one-on-one coaching sessions. Click here for more information on my personal coaching sessions that will help you regain balance, joy, and happiness in your life, all while handling your current state of affairs. You can e-mail me at: info@doughaddad.com

Feel free to check out my program “30 Days to Finding You” where I walk you through my 10-Step Personal Happiness Formula that you can apply specific to your lifestyle, starting today. Click here to learn more.

Wishing you to stay mentally and physically healthy and strong!

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While uncertainty continues to persist (and when doesn’t it) for the future of our country, void of any major catastrophes, you should be poised for an extraordinary year ahead. In order to stake your claim and position yourself to accomplish your goals and take your life in the direction you envision, there are some housecleaning items that you must square away to best leverage yourself for a healthy and happy New Year!

Here are the SIX THINGS TO DITCH THIS NEW YEAR!

1. Toxic Chemicals in Your Home

Set your home up for success. Don’t wait for someone to come down sick or for something to rear its ugly face and go wrong and then decide to do something about it. I live in a community that possesses a number of known chemicals in the water that are cancer-causing, which, I may add, really challenges my ability to pronounce correctly, such as bromodichloromethane, chloroform, chromium, dibromochloromethane, and a variety of trihalomethanes. It is important to know what you are consuming on a regular basis and be aware of your options for clean drinking water. I am currently researching various high quality home water filtration systems that not only remove heavy metals, asbestos, coliforms and other contaminants leached into the water, but also the above mentioned carcinogens and this is something I highly recommend you look into as well, especially if you have city-treated water. I do welcome your advice if you have recommendations for an effective system that satisfies these needs.

If you have a furnace filter, check it monthly and change it when it gets dirty. This will help extend the life of your furnace and save money on your utility bills. Choose alternatives to plastics where you can, and go glass for storage as much as possible. Try and avoid Teflon (non-stick) cookware or at least turn down the heat when cooking with these products. Non-stick cookware is made using a carcinogenic chemical known as perfluorooctanoic acid (PFOA). When you cook with a non-stick pot or pan, harmful fumes are released, especially when pans overheat, which are toxic to the body.¹

Furthermore, choose furniture that doesn’t contain flame retardant chemicals that are endocrine system disruptors. To keep your home clean, avoid using mainstream cleaning supplies. You can use white vinegar, baking soda, and lemon juice (to name a few) that will do the job. It’s cheap, effective, environmentally friendly and non-toxic.

2. Unhealthy Eating Habits

We all know that this is the time of year where we are coming off those family and work-related holiday parties where all the goodies from cookies to cakes and other pastries were readily available at your fingertips. It is amazing how we, as a society, are addicted to sugar in all its forms. The American Heart Association recommends a limit of 6 teaspoons a day of sugar for women and 9 teaspoons for men, yet we tip the scale by consuming between 20-24 teaspoons a day, on average.² With all the added sugars hidden in food, we are consuming more than we ever have before in history, which experts claim is a large contributor to the obesity crisis.

In general, limit or avoid foods that contain corn syrup, corn sweeteners, and a multitude of sugar molecules ending in “ose” – such as dextrose, sucrose, maltose, glucose, fructose. Long story short, limit purchasing processed foods that come in a box and consume whole food products.

3. Toxic People

It is easy to get caught up in other people’s dramas and pulled into their quagmire of problems.  However, as American writer and political activist Charles W. Chesnutt once proclaimed, “There’s time enough, but none to spare.” Who you spend your time with and how you spend your time and focus your energy will determine your state of mind and direction of your life.

Don’t be afraid to establish healthy boundaries with others and set the record straight once and for all. Toxic people aren’t looking out for your best interests. They are motivated by their own fears and spider web of troubles and can easily draw people in and entangle them into their crises. They will give you a lot to be angry, guilty, and sad about (if you let them) and wouldn’t mind for you to jump on board their “Misery Train.”  It may not be easy to simply dismiss these people from your life, but putting up and maintaining boundaries is the first crucial step and surrounding yourself with uplifting, positive, and happy people will help you ultimately break free.

4. Negative Thinking

The beauty of a New Year is that we get to hit the refresh button all over again and refocus our mind, body, and spirit with a renewed and positive outlook on life. The only problem is that 95% of our thoughts today are exactly what they were yesterday and 80% of them are negative. My solution to that is to lay it all out in the open. Some people can clear their minds by talking it out. Others meditate, some hit the gym, while others take a walk and focus on what they are grateful for. Personally, I’ve noticed that writing down my thoughts and how I feel can be extraordinarily powerful.

My suggestion to you is to take your thoughts, both positive and negative, and write them down on paper. One at a time. Go ahead…beat yourself up, praise yourself, express any and all thoughts down on paper about anything and everything that you feel. Cut out each one separately and read it out aloud to yourself. I would do this in a private setting so you can be free to express with complete truth and expression as to how you are feeling.

After you’ve read one, place it either in the “to keep” pile or “to discard” pile. For the ones you don’t want to keep, put them in a frequently visited place in the house to serve as a constant reminder of all the good in your life. Take the ones you want to discard and tear them up, one at a time, and throw them in the garbage – to rid once and for all. Whether it be a relationship, an unfulfilled or failed goal, or someone who has wronged you, you need a sense of closure to these matters in order to truly move forward and close the door on these chapters of your life. We all do!

5. Excuses

Ah, excuses, excuses, excuses! What better means to justify why we should have that piece of cake we know is bad for us or why we can’t make it to the gym again today. Yes, I will admit…guilty as charged!  It is easy to blame someone or a situation for why you didn’t do, did do, should have, or shouldn’t have done this or that.

First off, be honest with yourself and second off, give yourself a break. Be kind to yourself and talk about what you want to accomplish, the obstacles that may get in your way, and formulate a plan to achieve your goals. If you don’t know  by now, I’m a big fan of  the paper and pencil. Writing down your goals on paper is about gaining a vision and holding yourself accountable for your actions. It also turns the obscure into something real and palpable.

6. Phone

Yeah, I know… leaving your phone behind is like “Mission Impossible” these days. Everywhere we turn these days, it seems as if someone is making a text, talking on the phone, checking the weather, reading an article, listening to music, hanging out on social media somewhere…all on our electronic gadgets.

Although phone use has pervaded into an overwhelming and exhausting portion of our daily activities, perhaps of greater concern is the effect that cell phone use has on the quality of our interactions with others. Research has shown that having electronic devices out when spending time with someone sends a nonverbal message of devaluing the person you are with, by answering the call or responding to the text. People have more meaningful conversations and report higher levels of trust and empathy when they speak with people who do not attend to their devices during the conversation.³  The moral of the story – we all know of course – is to limit time spent on social media and overall electronic use and do something that will enrich our lives and the quality of our relationships with those individuals we are actually spending time with, in person!

For a complete guide to help you and your family’s overall well-being, from all things healthy home to eating, moving, sleeping, and thinking well strategies, grab a free copy of my 25-page WHOLE LOTTA LIVING GUIDE here.

If your New Year’s goal is to regain balance, joy, and happiness in your life, all while handling life’s day-to-day responsibilities, or you know someone who is interested to take their life to greater heights this year, check out my new program “30 Days to Finding You.” I walk you through my 10-Step Personal Happiness Formula that you can apply specific to your lifestyle, starting today. Click here to learn more. 

To a Healthy, Fearless, and Fulfilling New Year!

Sources:

 1. “Non-Stick Cookware Dangers: Hundreds of Scientists Issue Warning.” Mercola.com, articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2015/06/03/non-stick-cookware-dangers.aspx.

2. Sugar 101, www.heart.org/HEARTORG/HealthyLiving/HealthyEating/Nutrition/Sugar-101_UCM_306024_Article.jsp#.

3. “Can You Connect with Me Now? How the Presence of Mobile Communication Technology Influences Face-to-Face Conversation Quality.” Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0265407512453827.

when you wake up in the morning, how do you feel? Exhausted? Dreading to get up and go to work? Or do you feel invigorated and ready to go for the day? Why is it that some people feel energized and excited to take on the world most days and others are on auto pilot, feeling like they are doing the same old same old, just another day? Personal development coach Jim Rohn once said that the big challenge of life is, “You can have more than you got because you can become more than you are.” The other side of the coin is, “Unless you change who you are, you will always have what you got.”

The three steps I am going to share with you have helped me in my personal and professional life and can work for you. No matter what phase of life and situation you are presently in, taking these three steps can catapult you from where you are to where you want to be and who you want to become.

1. Know Your Outcome

Not everything in life warrants knowing an outcome. However, if you are looking to make a significant change, grow, and make progress in some area of your life, you must know the result you are looking to obtain.

For instance:

• When you go to work each day, do you have an outcome in mind as to the difference you want to make?
• When you speak with your children, do you have an outcome as to what you want them to take away from the conversation?
• If you are looking to get a better job, do you know what you are looking to get out of the job and how you want to feel?
• If you are looking to get into better shape, do you know what that exactly looks like?

2. Know Your Why 

So the million dollar question is: “How do you go from where you are today to where you want to be?” My answer is simple: by deciding on the person you want to become. We are all pulled in a bunch of directions each day and can easily be influenced by our environment. It all starts by having a foundation of purpose set firmly in place. From there, everything else in your life can be constructed. How strong you build that foundation is determined by the amount of work you are willing to put into your personal development. That means your thoughts, your actions, your core beliefs about yourself, others, and the world around you. By doing this, you will attract like amount in success. This goes for everything in your life. Success at your work, success in your finances, success in your relationships, success in your health… you name it!

3. Set Goals and Take Action

How many times in life have you daydreamed about having more or improving your life in some fashion?  Maybe you wondered how you could have a better relationship with your significant other or your child. Or you are trying to figure out how to attract the right person into your life and live happily ever after. Maybe you look at yourself in the mirror and aren’t happy with what you see and need to lose some weight and get your health in order. No matter what you desire, the question that will determine whether you take action or not is, “What is your plan?”

Having goals written down is a crucial step that will help you achieve your desired outcome. In the beginning, setting goals is fun. It’s a challenge most people look forward to going after. But as time goes on, you will be tested to see if you will stay on track and go the distance. This is where most people fail. Just think about most New Year’s Resolutions that are made and how quickly they are broken.  Why is that? Very simple.

Equation for failure = NO OUTCOME + NO PURPOSE + NO GOALS + NO ACTION

So when you know your outcome (what results you desire), you know your why (what your purpose is for doing this), and then you go ahead and set goals (dreams with a deadline) and  take action (on a consistent basis), you are on your way to living the life you imagine. Your ultimate challenge in this quest for a better life is to appreciate what you have at this very moment and “fall in love” with the process along the way. There is no doubt that to achieve anything of value, you will be tested emotionally and physically. Now it’s time to get started!

In my program “30 Days to Finding You.” I walk you through my 10-Step Personal Happiness Formula that you can apply to your life and implement these principles to ensure that you stay the course and achieve your dreams. Click here to learn more.

To A Happier and More Fulfilled YOU!