Have your child’s emotions or behaviors changed recently? Has this change persisted for more than a week or so? Provided is a link to resources to help you detect the warning signs of mental health challenges. Included is a free, evidence-based assessment and report for children 2-12 that contains actionable tools to support your family’s wellness. With the amount of stressors that many families have experienced in the past few years, it’s more important now than ever to check in with your child’s mental health for the sake of your child and your family. The tips in the following link from Slumberkins can help:
Safety is every parent’s top priority. However, ensuring that your child is safe can mean something different at each age. From infancy through toddlerhood and beyond, here’s what you need to know to avoid danger.
There aren’t any shortcuts for raising confident, well-adjusted, healthy kids. Yet there are nuggets of valuable advice everywhere you look. Starting with these top tips can help you navigate the challenges of each stage of development — and enjoy the adventure, too.
– Resources Contribution by Jason Kennerand Slumberkins.com
Work with me personally! Are you looking to gain more clarity, balance, peace, joy, and happiness in your life, all while effectively and efficiently handling your current day-to-day state of affairs? I am currently open to new clients for one-on-one coaching sessions. Click here for more information on my personal coaching sessions. You can e-mail me at: [email protected]
To your social, emotional, mental and physical well-being!
There are many things children need to learn to succeed in school, work, and life. Taking care of themselves, running a household, and managing time and money are just a few of the life skills to teach kids before they leave the nest. Children also need social and emotional skills.
Social and emotional learning equips children with the self-awareness and interpersonal skills to set goals, handle challenges, and make good decisions.
I will share six ways that parents can teach social and emotional life skills to children of all ages:
1. Talk about feelings
Children with a rich emotional vocabulary are better at recognizing emotions in themselves and others. Parents can use the RULER method to build children’s emotional vocabulary starting in pre-K.
The RULER method teaches children to:
Recognize emotions based on physical cues.
Understand what caused the feelings.
Label how they’re feeling.
Express their emotions appropriately.
Regulate their emotions.
In addition to teaching children to recognize their own emotions, instill empathy by sharing personal stories about feelings and exploring the emotions of characters in stories and books.
2. Promote prosocial behavior
Prosocial behavior is when people do things that don’t directly benefit themselves like being polite, sharing with a friend, and helping others. Prosocial behavior is associated with better interpersonal relationships and a positive self-image.
Promote prosocial behavior by noticing and praising good behavior, reading books about friendships and relationships, and modeling prosocial behaviors by treating others and yourself with respect and kindness. Help children understand the why behind social rules by drawing the connection between good or bad behavior and social consequences.
3. Set future goals
Long-term goals show what can be accomplished through hard work and determination and teaches kids to consider their future in decision-making. Start talking about the future when children are young to inspire them to dream big. Big goals like going to college may seem overwhelming or too far away, but parents can teach kids how to break their long-term goals down into a step-by-step plan.
Modeling is one of the best ways to do this. Have you been thinking about a career change? Maybe you want to get a degree that lets you work from home or earn your master’s to boost your earning potential. Talk to kids about your goals and strategies that let you achieve them, like earning your degree online or applying for financial aid. Persevering despite obstacles sets an example that children are sure to remember.
4. Teach habit formation
Every parent knows the importance of building healthy habits like good hygiene, a balanced diet, and an active lifestyle early in life. Consistency and clear expectations provide the framework for a healthy lifestyle while modeling gives kids an example to follow. However, this doesn’t necessarily teach children how to form habits.
Teaching habit formation gives children the skills to form good habits and break bad ones into adulthood. Ask children to reflect on how habits influence their lives, connect habits to triggers, and develop strategies for replacing old habits with new ones. Some children may respond better to a rewards-based system while others need to eliminate triggers to avoid temptation.
5. Use natural and logical consequences
Natural and logical consequences build self-discipline by directly connecting children’s actions to their consequences. An example of a natural consequence is not having a clean shirt to wear because they didn’t put their clothes in the laundry. A logical consequence, on the other hand, is carried out by a caregiver — for example, cleaning up a mess they made or losing driving privileges after taking the car without permission. Take time to explain when implementing consequences so children take ownership of their decisions and learn how to make better choices in the future.
6. Encourage resilience
Resilience is one of the most important traits parents can instill in their children. Resilience is what lets kids accept consequences and bounce back from failure instead of giving up when things get difficult. Children develop resilience in environments where they feel safe to make mistakes and take risks instead of shying away from challenges. Parents raise resilient children when they praise effort over achievement, teach children to problem-solve, and foster a flexible mindset.
Resilience isn’t just about letting kids fail but rather teaching children to cope with their emotions, learn from mistakes, and keep moving forward. Parents also need to be mindful of how they talk about their own failures and frustrations. Do you dwell on the negative, or are you modeling a positive mindset for your kids?
Raising children who make good decisions involves more than setting rules and teaching healthy habits. For kids to take the lessons they learn in childhood into adulthood and beyond, they need the awareness and self-management skills to connect actions to outcomes.
– Article Contribution by Joyce Wilson (www.teacherspark.org)
Work with me personally! Are you looking to gain more clarity, balance, peace, joy, and happiness in your life, all while effectively and efficiently handling your current day-to-day state of affairs? I am currently open to new clients for one-on-one coaching sessions. Click here for more information on my personal coaching sessions. You can e-mail me at: [email protected]
To your social, emotional, mental and physical well-being!
Amusement parks and popular tourist spots might have been your pre-pandemic destinations of choice, but with the pandemic still in effect (going on two years now) and many places experiencing infection rates again on the rise, planning a socially distanced vacation may in fact be the safer way to travel with your family. Many destinations let you socially distance yourself from other travelers while still enjoying new adventures. Consider how much risk you’re willing to take and plan your family vacation accordingly. The following tips presented can help you plan an exciting and healthy getaway.
Book a Remote Vacation Rental
Instead of staying at a busy resort, book a vacation rental where you have the entire house to yourself. Choose a remote location, such as a cabin in the mountains or a farmhouse. In this case, you won’t have to worry about passing anyone in the halls or sharing an elevator with others.
Go Camping
Camping lets you explore nature and spend most of your time outdoors, where you’re less likely to be exposed to any of the strains of the corona virus, according to the CDC. Whether you prefer tenting or an RV, choose a less busy campground with large spaces to keep your distance from fellow campers. Plan outdoor activities such as hiking, scavenger hunts, and skipping rocks.
Take Private Tours
Some attractions have limited capacity or timed entry, but you’re still sharing indoor space with others. Consider booking private tours for various activities instead. You might book a private dolphin cruise or fishing excursion for your family, which gives you the experience without the exposure. If private experiences don’t fit your vacation budget, look for outdoor activities or less busy attractions. You and your family might enjoy taking a city walking tour or visiting a botanical garden.
Plan a Staycation
If you’re not ready to travel, plan a fun staycation. Put your phones away and engage in family activities such as:
Backyard camping. Set up a tent in your backyard. Roast marshmallows and hot dogs over the fire pit to complete the experience. If you’re not the outdoor type, camp in the living room.
Home spa. If you prefer pampering, set up a spa at home to enjoy facials, manicures, and other relaxing treatments.
Themed activities. Choose one of your favorite vacation destinations and plan food and activities around it. Recreate a seaside vacation at home with coconut drinks and beach ball games. Or, choose a favorite movie and plan games and dishes related to it.
Making some modifications to your house can make staycation outdoor activities safer and more fun, such as fencing in your backyard. The cost varies significantly based on the material, fence length, and location. Look up “fence installation near me,” and then contact several local fencing contractors to get quotes based on your specific needs. Check the credentials of each company including insurance coverage, licensing, and online reviews.
Tech to Take Along
No matter where your travels take you, packing tech makes your trip easier and safer. A smartwatch for kids with parental controls helps you keep track of your little one with built-in GPS. You can also upload medical ID information to have in case of an emergency. Be sure to pack extra batteries and chargers to keep all your devices powered on the trip.
Get Away as a Family
School breaks can still be fun with pandemic-friendly vacation ideas such as a staycation, booking a vacation rental, or going RVing or camping. Plan some private tours and take your tech along for added convenience and safety.
– Article Contribution by Joyce Wilson (www.teacherspark.org)
Work with me personally! Are you looking to gain more clarity, balance, peace, joy, and happiness in your life, all while effectively and efficiently handling your current day-to-day state of affairs? I am currently open to new clients for one-on-one coaching sessions. Click here for more information on my personal coaching sessions. You can e-mail me at: [email protected]
To your social, emotional, mental and physical well-being!
Kids these days are developing a whole new set of skills unlike any other generation in history. They are going to school (whether in person or online) in the midst of a pandemic and facing a new set of challenges that is forcing them to learn differently and develop skills to adapt to a new style of education and way of living.
Moreover, children here in the United States are growing up witnessing division among people of different political denominations and strife as it relates to injustice among people of different race, ethnicity, and gender/sexual orientation. Kids who spend time on social media see and hear a variety of blasphemous acts taking place against all kinds of people from all different backgrounds and institutions. The messages about fairness, kindness, and equality that we want to resonate with our children are being contradicted and contorted, which makes things very confusing for a young developing mind.
Children are easily influenced by their peers and what goes on in the media. As parents, we want to inculcate a sense of moral responsibility and sound character into our children. This is why it is important, as adults in our society, that we model the pillars of character that we so desire in our children, which include care, kindness, compassion, forgiveness, honesty, and respect for all people.
The reality, however, is that everyone is different and each person carries with them their past, present, and future and is entitled to their own opinion. Now, it is one thing to have a difference of opinion with others. However, it is another thing to be sucked into an alluring quagmire of gossip and controversy and develop a negative thought pattern against a person, group, and/or institution where we find ourselves becoming stuck, angry, resentful, and pessimistic. It is easy enough to become entangled in this way of living and become unaware of the insidious, negative implications this behavior poses on our lives and those we most care about.
In order to raise awareness about the importance of social and emotional intelligence, we need to start at the homes and in the schools in order to best equip our children with the necessary tools to think critically and accurately recognize fact from fiction so they can appropriately and effectively handle a variety of issues, conflicts, and adversity as they arise throughout their lives.
Building a child’s emotional well-being is about showing them strategies on how to remain calm, understanding, and peaceful, all while maintaining a positive attitude and preserving a strong sense of character and integrity. So how and where do we begin?
GROWING UP IS NOT EASY
First off, we must remember that growing up is not a smooth and predictable ride for most kids. There are many factors that shape the development of a young person’s mind from childhood through adolescence. It can be hard, sometimes really hard for children, especially if they encounter adversity that requires them to make a decision to stand up for themselves and/or others, knowing it may not be the popular thing to do. They may find themselves part of a peer group that they really don’t want to be a part of and struggle to find a way out.
Growing up, I experienced and witnessed all kinds of bullying take place. I had choices to make as to whether I would join in on the action, or become a bystander and just sit on the sidelines, or rather step in and do something about it.
Being on the receiving end of verbal and physical abuse from my peers, while growing up, made it easy for me to decide which side of the fence I would take as I never wanted to see “the little guy” become a victim. But that is not always the case for all children who are bullied. Some resort to self-harming behaviors, while others become bullies themselves.
I will say that it would have been nice to have had someone in my corner when times got rough. Someone who I could count on when the bullies approached me and that I could trust to stand up for me. But that wasn’t my story.
The reality was that I needed to learn new skills that would help me develop resilience and become impervious to the verbal and physical attacks. I knew that when I stepped foot on the school bus each day, that I was on my own against “those kids” who were “looking to pick a fight.” I knew what it was like to battle in a war waged against me – time and time again – knowing that no one would come to my rescue when the confrontation began.
With that said, I also realize that there is a lot at stake for kids who stand up against bullying behavior. The child who makes the decision to support someone who is being picked on, bullied, or feeling outcast, is well aware that he/she may likely get backlash for it. These days, it’s not just physical or face-to-face verbal abuse that takes place. It’s also happening through text messaging, emails, and/or social media (a.k.a. cyberbullying).
I am so passionate about this topic, because I’ve seen how these defining moments in a young person’s life can shape their character and ultimately their course of life. In my opinion, the choices young people make in these moments largely defines their level of self-esteem and fulfillment they acquire throughout their life. I’ve written in more detail on this topic in a previous post “Teaching Children to Confront Bullying” where I offer helpful strategies on how children can stand up for themselves and others.
Research has shown that people who possess high self-esteem have no problem in empowering others and encouraging them to be their best. A leader with low self-esteem can often be controlling or even demonstrate micro-managing, oppressive behavior.
The message here for children is simple: When you see an injustice that is taking place in which you have the capability to do something about, the choice is yours and yours alone to act on. When something feels wrong and you know that it is negatively affecting someone or a group of people, it is important to act with courage and decide to DO SOMETHING.
At the school I teach, we reinforce five qualities of good character: kindness, trustworthiness, respect, fairness, and responsibility. The good news is that children can learn all of these qualities from a very young age and practice implementing them in a safe space at home and apply them at school, and within the community on a regular basis.
HOW TO EMPOWER YOUR CHILD
There are three primary things that children desire and that is to feel loved, understood, and accepted. These are at the core of developing one’s self-esteem and confidence to make decisions and understand that the outcomes are largely due to choices they’ve independently made.
Also, self-esteem consists of two main things:
1. Self-worth (a feeling that you matter and that you are heard) and
2. Self-efficacy (the ability to accomplish a task/solve a problem by yourself).
The more you get your child involved in decision-making, the more they feel that they matter. This is called “sharing the power” with your child to make them feel empowered. You can start when they are very young by giving them a choice as to what they would like to do. Putting them in charge of a task helps them develop leadership skills. I do this all of the time with my toddler as she helps set the table for dinner, empty the dishwasher, take the clothes out of the dryer, and pick up her toys and clean her room.
Another way to empower your child and facilitate a strong work ethic is if there are chores that need to be done, you can provide them with a list and ask them to select their top three choices. If they are little, you could have them choose between a couple of shirts and pants as to what they would like to wear. This is something my wife and I do with our toddler daughter and it makes her feel important and valued. Maybe once a week or every other week, you can offer your child a choice of a special meal or treat they would like and involve them in helping make it.
Another way to empower your child is to let them own their choices. With great power comes great responsibility (as Peter Parker once said) and the younger they are at learning this golden rule of life, the better it will serve them when the stakes are higher.
For instance, if they do not get a chore done by a time you have set for them, then the natural consequence is that they don’t get to engage in an activity that they would like to do. Let’s say they would like to play with a friend on Saturday and you’ve set a day and time for them to complete cleaning their room, yet by that time, it still hasn’t been done, then their natural consequence is that they they will not be able to go over their friend’s house until their room is clean.
Also, if homework assignment completion is an issue, or a grade isn’t to your standard, then privileges should be removed for a certain time frame. It is important to be upfront with your child in advance about this so they are well aware of your expectations (and consequences). This strategy works well with tweens and teens.
THE REAL SECRET TO BUILDING RESILIENT, EMPOWERED, AND HAPPY KIDS
The real secret to stacking the deck in your favor in ultimately raising resilient, empowered, and happy kids is to embody all of the qualities mentioned in this article in yourself on a day-to-day basis.
As so you desire in your child, becometh in you. How we personally react to adversity, setbacks, challenges on a daily basis will be witnessed, evaluated, scrutinized, and ultimately modeled back by our children. Our perceptions and viewpoints about this world will, in large part, be translated into our children’s formative beliefs and values that will carry with them throughout their lives.
If you find yourself looking for more strategies on how to build resilient, empowered, and happy kids, you can check out my best-selling book, The Ultimate Guide to Raising Teens and Tweens. In the book, I discuss a variety of in depth and practical time-proven strategies to help you strengthen your connection with your children and empower them in the face of adversity throughout their lives.
Work with me personally! Are you looking to gain more clarity, balance, peace, joy, and happiness in your life, all while effectively and efficiently handling your current day-to-day state of affairs? I am currently open to new clients for one-on-one coaching sessions. Click here for more information on my personal coaching sessions. You can e-mail me at: [email protected]
To the resilient, empowered, and happy childin all of us!
We live in a society where anyone and everyone’s ideas are widely promulgated, especially throughout all forms of the media. One of the first things we often do when we wake up is “check in” to see what is going on in the world. Some of us read the newspaper, others turn on the television to watch the news. Others check their phone and scroll through to catch up on what people are saying about others and the world.
It is important to recognize that what someone says or does in one country is no longer privately exclusive to those people, but is public knowledge to the world, which can impact decisions made elsewhere and then trickle throughout our planet.
This same philosophy is true for the microcosmic worlds that each and everyone of us live in. What we say or do, doesn’t just have an effect on us, but also influences other lives, which can have a lifetime effect and set the tone or even foundation for their personal states-of-mind and the decisions they make.
WHERE YOUR ATTENTION GOES, YOUR ENERGY FLOWS
Unfortunately, a lot of what we see these days triggers the antithesis of a happy and peaceful state of mind and sends us reeling into a fight or flight response where we are taxed on a daily basis, shouldering the burden of unnecessary chronic stressors. Despite being inundated with messages of hate, violence, fear, sickness, death, division, and mere uncertainty for what tomorrow brings, there are practices that you can put into place to move forward toward a life of peace, happiness, and fulfillment.
IT COMES DOWN TO EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
From my experience working with parents, educators, and children for over two decades, I have come to realize the importance that lies in understanding and strengthening our intra- and interpersonal “emotional intelligence” and owning the impact that we have individually and collectively as communities on other people’s psyches (especially young people) and their overall mind-body-spirit development.
With that said, there is an amalgam of factors that contributes to how we think, perceive our world, analyze, judge, and evaluate our surroundings. One of the first steps we must take to grow our world in the direction we ideally envision, is to “clear out the weeds” so to speak. We must remove any (mis) perceptions or pre-conceived notions we may have and allow for new ideas and ways of thinking to penetrate and foster our minds – without imposing judgment on them as “right or wrong.”
When we turn our attention onto daily actions that are in our control to make a positive difference in someone’s life, we will no longer be “waiting on the world to change” (as John Mayer wrote). We will no longer sit back and watch “who will make the next move” or put our faith in one person or group to be the savior from all of our problems.
WE DON’T KNOW WHAT WE DON’T KNOW
Much of this may seem like common sense understanding to you as to how we should act in accordance with others in our world. However, we must realize that the choices we make are inherently dictated by what we know (or for that matter “don’t know”) and believe to be our personal truths.
If you can take a step back for just a moment and cut yourself some slack to realize that knowing that you don’t have everything figured out in life is perfectly okay. There is no shame or weakness in realizing that your beliefs may be limiting and being open to new possibilities. Your awareness of your own thinking processes opens up even greater opportunities for growth and deeper understanding throughout your life. And no matter where life has brought you, there is plenty of time to learn, innovate, and grow yourself into the person you wish to become.
This transformational shift starts by keeping an open mind and being aware that where your attention goes, your energy flows and becomes your state of mind. This principle does not deviate from person-to-person and does not discriminate based on age, gender, race, ethnicity, etc.
THREE SELF-CARE MINDSET STRATEGIES
Now that I’ve laid out the premise for what is needed to effectively make positive change in your life, here are three actionable steps that you can take today that will help make that change and positively shape your outlook on life through uncertain and tumultuous times.
1. Live in a state of gratitude and appreciation. – Before you rise out of bed each day, give thanks for at least five things you are grateful for in your life. Say them with feeling and utter conviction. Repeat the process before you go to sleep for the day.
2. Surrender yourself to a higher power. – I firmly feel that the problems that we deem ours are part of a grander plan. Giving your problems to that higher power (God, Source, Universe, etc.) to figure out is a big part of self-care and having faith that there is a greater plan at work for our greater good.
3. Separate yourself from your body, surroundings, and time. – This strategy may be the most challenging of the three. This requires your mind to sit still and go from an active beta brain wave activity to an alpha or theta) brain wave functioning where you are not focusing too hard on any one particular thing, but rather feeling this wakeful relaxation. Personally, I enjoy doing Tai Chi and Qigong in my basement, while listening to meditation music in a frequency around 432 Hz, which resonates with Earth’s natural frequency. I would encourage you to take up some form of meditation on a regular basis. Start small and slow, yet remain consistent.
When you are “no one”, “no where” in “no time,” you are inviting a new consciousness to arrive and guide you toward healing and self-awareness like never before.
For a complete guide to help you and your family’s overall well-being during these challenging times, from all things healthy home to eating, moving, sleeping, and thinking well strategies, grab a free copy of my 25-page WHOLE LOTTA LIVING GUIDE here.
Work with me personally! I am currently open to clients for one-on-one coaching sessions. Click here for more information on my personal coaching sessions that will help you regain balance, joy, and happiness in your life, all while handling your current state of affairs. You can e-mail me at: [email protected]
Feel free to check out my program “30 Days to Finding You” where I walk you through my 10-Step Personal Happiness Formula that you can apply specific to your lifestyle, starting today. Click here to learn more.
Wishing you to stay mentally and physically healthy and strong!
