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1. How to help your child get back into the school routine and manage their schedule

As students get into middle and certainly high school, children, as well as parents, may be unaware of the daily demands of homework load, and children can be easily overwhelmed with all of the daily demands of homework, studying for quizzes and tests, and completing various projects. The solution is to get back to routines. I recommend getting them a wall calendar that they can themselves write down their weekly schedule so they can visualize what needs to be done and plan accordingly to accomplish those tasks. Having a quiet place to do homework at a consistent time, preferably in a place that you can see them doing homework so they know that you see them, is very important.

2. How to regulate their daily use of technology

When giving praise, use it sparingly and be sure that it is used with a purpose that is specific and genuine. Avoid using praise for failures or low-challenging or low-achieving activities. Kids know when you are giving them “pity praise” and when you really mean it. The goal of praise is not to make a child dependent on it, but for them to feel empowered that they are capable of achieving greatness on their own.

In my new book, The Ultimate Guide to Raising Teens and Tweens, I provide parents with a variety of in depth activities and strategies to help motivate a child and achieve success, while decreasing stress levels, improving happiness, self-awareness, and self-esteem, and becoming a smart, successful, and self-disciplined individual.For a complete guide to help you and your family’s overall well-being, from all things healthy home to eating, moving, sleeping, and thinking well strategies, grab a free copy of my 25-page WHOLE LOTTA LIVING GUIDE here.

To A Great School Year Ahead!

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hildren suffer from anxiety for a number of reasons. Before the start of a new school year, encountering a select group of peers at school, auditioning for a role in the school play, trying out for a sports team, and right before taking tests are times when a child may experience anxiety. This is nothing out of the ordinary. However, anxiety becomes a serious concern for children when it starts to interfere with their day-to-day activities. They may try to avoid certain situations or certain people. Some children are more susceptible to anxiety. This is especially the case if a child regularly experiences family conflict, arguments, is bullied, or feels unsafe in a particular environment.

And then there are students I’ve had who have gotten upset over the littlest things. At times, I’ve seen students push others in a shoving match. When I came over to address the issue, the student would go ballistic and lose control of their emotions. More times than not, the kids who act out in school are doing so because something is either going on at home or with their peers. The intimidating, mean-spirited behaviors are often a result of some sort of trauma experienced by the child at home or at school. They come into school on guard, ready to battle and they misperceive their peers’ and teachers’ cues, resulting in hostile and highly combative behavior.

How to Manage a Child’s Anxiety/Anger and Exposure to Violence

It is very important to sit down with your child and allow them to safely express their emotions and tell you what is going on and causing their high level of anxiety or what is making them feel upset. One thing you can do to alleviate your child’s stress is to limit the amount of technology that they are exposed to, in particular violent content. Refocus your child on getting involved in activities that are positive in nature and involve positive interactions in a team-building way with their peers.

Refrain from imparting your own fears or anxiety onto your child and rather than protecting your child from feeling anxious, teach them strategies to best manage and deal with it successfully. In my new book, The Ultimate Guide to Raising Teens and Tweens, I provide specific coping strategies that parents can implement to help their child best deal with anxiety in the least harmful manner all while channeling any worrisome or negative thoughts to something positive to help maintain a child’s self-confidence.

Furthermore, teenagers who suffer from anxiety may have difficulty sleeping or eating and are more prone to either self-destructive behaviors and/or angry outburst. In my book, I also  offer the C.A.L.M. technique on how you can easily and effectively reduce or flat out eliminate problem behavior and get your child to see how their actions result in specific consequences or rewards.

To You and Your Child!

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child misbehaving is something I see on a regular basis in my profession as a middle school teacher. Whether it be shouting out something inappropriate to another student, calling someone a name, or making a loud, funny noise to get a reaction from others, children exhibit a variety of obnoxious, immature, and disruptive behaviors.

How to prevent or stop a child from misbehaving

Children, in general, act out to seek negative attention. If there is a potential audience available to fuel the behavior, then that behavior and those actions will likely persist. The key factor in determining whether or not a problem behavior will persist or be eliminated is based largely on your reaction to the child’s behavior and how you respond to it.

1. Teach a child empathy.

When a child is taught how his or her behaviors affect others around them, they are more likely to display positive, kind, and caring behaviors. Many children who exhibit problem behaviors may be dealing with anxiety, fear, lack of acceptance from others, rejection and not have the coping mechanisms to appropriately handle these issues and act out to protect themselves from further backlash from their peers, teachers, and/or parents.

2. Acknowledge positive behavior exhibited and ignore behavior that isn’t harmful.

Kids often misbehave because they are seeking attention and don’t know any other viable means to obtain it other than to act out. Praising good behavior can turn that around. In my class, I appreciate it when someone offers to help pass out papers, clean up lab stations, assist someone who may be struggling, or simply raise their hand and wait to be called on during class discussion. I typically respond by saying statements to the like of:

“Thank you for raising your hand and waiting to be called on to answer that question.”

“Thank you for your kindness and offering to help…”

“I appreciate that you have your homework ready to be collected.”

“Keep up the great work. I am very proud of you.”

It all depends on the child, but looking and expecting good is oftentimes the solution and what you will get from a child. English writer W. Somerset Maugham once said,

“It’s a funny thing about life, if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it.”

3. Take away privileges.

However, if despite your efforts at teaching a child that their actions affect others, offering praise to positive behavior displayed, and ignoring attention-seeking behavior, your child continues misbehaving in an inappropriate manner and it is negatively affecting others or putting themselves or others in, then a clear consequence needs to immediately follow.

It could be as simple as a time out to remove them from the situation or shift their attention away from their current behaviors and give them time to reflect on what they did wrong and how they should have behaved. Removing a privilege of some sorts  is a common practice for curbing bad behavior, especially with older children. Anything from removal of electronics, toys, losing a sleepover, and not playing with friends are standard options for consequences that will typically render future good results, as long as a child understands the basis for why they lost their privileges and the expected behavior in the future.

Whether it is at home, at school, or in public around others when the misbehavior takes place, if the environment is reinforcing that behavior through others laughing or yelling for the person to stop, then that may be the unfortunate catalyst that keeps the problem behavior going. Hence, the child will see no reason why he or she should discontinue their actions when they are getting a reaction out of someone.

4. Model behavior you expect of your child.

It goes back to the monkey see, monkey do adage. Children are keen observers of their surrounding and require parents to not only teach them good manners and help them develop a sense of morality, but also watch how their parents and other adults in their lives display politeness, kindness, respect, and acceptance toward one another.

In my new book, The Ultimate Guide to Raising Teens and Tweens, I overview the C.A.L.M. technique on how you can easily and effectively reduce or flat out eliminate problem behavior and get your child to discover for themselves how their actions result in specific consequences or rewards.

To You and Your Child!