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1. Work hard towards achieving set goals

Children who tend to achieve well in academics, sports, or different competitions realize the value in setting goals. This starts with a dream-like mindset about what it is they want and then planning out the steps necessary to turn their dream into a reality.

It is important to start small when setting goals. A really big goal is great! However, breaking it down into smaller goals that are shorter term make it more manageable and attainable. This goes for test preparation, project completion, a concert performance, sporting event or anything that involves practice and preparation. The key thing is for children to attain success at some level. They will soon experience a feeling of success and see the value in setting goals. From that point, a child has a platform that he can build from and complete future goals on their own.

 2. Do things without constant reminders

One of the biggest obstacles to success is prolonging getting started. That’s right…it’s the P word. You guessed it! Procrastination at its finest! I tell my students that the biggest challenge to completing their homework isn’t the level of complexity, but is literally getting it out of the backpack and putting it onto the table. I’ve learned that two things do not work with motivating children: reminding and rewarding.

Reminding and rewarding at times could be the more convenient approach to get a child to do something. However, this can get quite exhausting and expensive and does not put the onus of responsibility and decision-making on a child. Rather than constantly reminding children to get started on something, get them into a routine, which is really an expectation to complete something – starting at a certain time – with a general time frame in mind. Motivated students realize that if they get into a habit, a regular daily routine, of where and when they do homework or chores, it becomes that much easier to get started and stay motivated to complete tasks in a timely fashion.

 3. Practice a “Go-Getter” attitude from an early age

Having a “go-getter” mentality is not something that happens overnight with children. At the core of motivation is a high level of self-esteem and self-confidence in one’s ability to tackle a particular task. When a child feels that he can handle the task or challenge that lies ahead, whether it be at home, school, socially, in sports, relationships with others, he is more willing to take risks and be willing to fall or fail to achieve that goal.

Early on in my work with children, I believed that motivating children comes from something outside of the child that was given to them. I would try to motivate them through not only my words and actions, but through stories, constant encouragement, making them laugh, giving them prizes, stickers, and telling them how much I believe in them. These things can certainly influence a child’s confidence and desires and have their time and place, but rather than being a source of motivation, I realized that by doing one key thing, sparked the greatest inspiration within them, which served to be my greatest tool.

It was the one thing that my mother taught me to do when I was a little boy that would help me truly understand and gain a competency, which ultimately led toward a greater self-confidence. That is listening. Just by paying attention to someone and what they have to say, without judgment, helps build their morale, shows that you are interested in hearing what they have to say and demonstrates how much their words have value.  This is one of the best kept secrets for helping a child find their motivation and something I would recommend that you implement right away!

4. Voluntarily engage in creative activities 

Before you decide to enroll your child in every enrichment activity out there, be aware of the quality of activities you expose your child to. You want your children to feel responsible for their success. Refrain from overexposure to technology as that counteracts the creativity process in many regards. Instead, provide your children with opportunities to problem-solve, handle tasks independently, as well as collaboratively. Give them a chance to become a leader and voice their opinion through community work, contribute to caring for a garden or a pet, or create something artistic to express their innermost feelings. These kinds of activities can give them the spark they need to feel excited and motivated to try new things and pursue different ventures throughout their life. And lastly, give your child a chance to choose what they would love to do. Allow them to explore different activities and find what moves them the most.

5. Enjoy the learning process

Kids learn through many modalities. When they are young, children need to be guided through the learning process. Much of learning at a young age comes through play, movement, and imagination. Therefore, allowing a child to be physically active and use their imagination can be a great stimulus toward engaging learning. As a child gets older, integrating their passions into what they are learning can spark motivation. Connecting what a child is learning to something in the real world that affects them in some way or another, shows the relevance and worth in what they are learning. This makes them more interested in wanting to learn about something that may otherwise be boring or irrelevant to their life.

In my best-selling book, The Ultimate Guide to Raising Teens and Tweens, I discuss a variety of strategies to help motivate your teen or tween in all aspects of their lives, without having to nag them.

If you are looking to regain motivation for life, take things to the next level in your business or personal life, or get a fresh start and try something new in life, check out my program “30 Days to Finding You.” I walk you through my 10-Step Personal Happiness Formula that you can apply to your life, starting today. Click here to learn more. 

To More Motivation and Less Procrastination!

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e all procrastinate at some time or another with something. Children procrastinate for similar reasons adults do. It could be that there is a lot to do, or maybe something is difficult and overwhelming for them. Whatever the reason, procrastination can be a paralyzing feeling for a child.

If you are wondering how your child’s procrastination is affecting them, ask yourself:  “Is your child experiencing more stress from their procrastination that is negatively affecting other aspects of their life (academic, emotional, social, physical)?”

It is important for a child to know that procrastination is often a process of self-awareness and not something to beat themselves up over. If your child feels stuck and can’t find the self-initiative to get started on a task that needs to be completed, I would suggest to have them peer into the future and feel when something gets done in a timely manner and how that would make them feel, as opposed to waiting and waiting and how that would make them feel.

Homework procrastination

If a child struggles to commit to a regular routine for getting homework done in a timely and efficient manner, provide them with options. If they can’t make up their mind, you choose for them. For example, if your child is notorious for waiting until the last minute Sunday night to do homework, give them an option to do their homework on either Saturday right after breakfast or Sunday right after breakfast. Once the homework is complete, then they will be allowed to engage in fun, playful activities for that day.

In general, all technology (phone, internet) or any distractions should be out of reach while doing homework. If your child insists that they have to do their homework using the Internet, ask them which subjects need it along with the specific online requirements to complete those assignments. Monitor your child’s time spent on there and if need be, set a time frame for the Internet usage.

The most important step, and oftentimes the most challenging one, in completing homework in a timely fashion is having a child physically put it out on the table. From there, you can help your child manage the completion of their assignments. Start by dividing the homework into smaller tasks. The child should write down what needs to be done on the paper, starting with a relatively easy task and moving towards harder ones and finishing with the easiest or most interesting one. Ask your child to cross out a task on the paper as soon as they are done with it. That will give them a sense of accomplishment. What this is all doing is teaching your child how to set goals, break down tasks, and monitor progress.

Procrastinating in general

As I said before, waiting until the last minute to do things is not something unique to children. However, kids respond better to concrete requests, such as “Take your dish and glass and put them in the dishwasher before you go to sleep tonight” vs. “Don’t leave all your dirty stuff out.”

To help a child understand the magnitude of their actions and how they affect others, remind them of a specific instance when you promptly responded to their needs, without delay. You can have a conversation to reiterate the same expectations for them and proceed by asking them if it all makes sense and is something that they feel is doable. When trying to get your child to accomplish a certain task, have them envision what could be an obstacle in their way that may prevent them from achieving that task in a timely manner and what they can do about it to prevent that from becoming a problem.

What to do if your child still procrastinates

-Because your child has not proven that they are able to accomplish certain tasks on a regular basis, start by having what I call the “W conversation” with them.

Regarding the procrastinated task, have them explain:

• Why is it important to do this without delay?
• What have your choices resulted in?
• Who has this affected and in what way?
• What should you have done?
• What will you do from this point moving forward?

Kids, in general, love positive reinforcement and praise. When they don’t feel like there are so many strict rules and that they have control over things, they will be more apt to respond in a timely fashion. Sometimes, procrastination is a form of passive-aggressive defiance because it is the one thing that they can control. In that case, it goes back to setting the expectations and adhering to the consequences (if and when they are broken). This takes any emotion out of  the equation and it doesn’t become a personal “I told you to do this because I said so” discussion, but rather “This is important to (me, the family, and you) because….and this is why it is important to do this in a timely manner.”

When it is all said and done, the secret to curbing procrastination lies in how you structure your discipline. It comes down to what specific consequences you feel are appropriate and that you feel comfortable in reinforcing when things are not accomplished on time or have been neglected entirely.

In my best-selling book, The Ultimate Guide to Raising Teens and Tweens, I discuss the different types of discipline strategies in greater depth and how you can apply them in a variety of situations with your teen or tween to help them gain motivation and self-discipline.

If your New Year’s goal is to take charge of your life and stop procrastinating to achieve what is on your New Year’s Resolutions list, all while handling life’s day-to-day responsibilities, download my new program “30 Days to Finding You.” I walk you through my 10-Step Personal Happiness Formula that you can apply to your life, starting today. Click here to learn more. 

To More Motivation and Less Procrastination!

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How do you create effective boundaries?

When setting limits, have a two-way conversation with your child. First, discuss the specific rules and associated consequences that will take place if a rule is broken. Then, listen to your child and what he has to say, whether he agrees with your decisions or not.

But then how do you determine the appropriate limits that should be set for your child? You want to first consider what the goal is for setting limits. Boundaries provide children with a framework to make decisions in their life. They should be set age appropriate to allow for a young person’s emotional development, while also permitting children to make choices and letting them grow to become independent thinkers and problem solvers.

Establishing  a mutual respect between a parent and a child means that the parent is the parent. It is important to set clear boundaries that the child has to stick to and establish clear consequences that the parent will follow through with if the boundary is crossed and the expectation is not adhered to. Children will test their parents and the sooner children experience consistent consequences for crossing the line, the sooner they will think twice about what they want to do next time and make a wiser choice.

What does effective discipline look like?

Effective discipline involves effective communication and it occurs in three different forms. First, it starts in a loving, positive, supportive way that strengthens the parent-child relationship. Second, it uses positive reinforcement to encourage desired behaviors. And third, it uses punishment – only when necessary – to decrease the frequency or eliminate undesired behaviors.

Young children have difficulty regulating their behavior based on verbal prohibitions and directions. As a child gets older, removing privileges by delayed extinction becomes a useful technique for eliminating undesirable behavior. All children, but especially adolescents, should be held accountable for their behaviors by receiving natural consequences that are consistently reinforced. This helps them become more self-disciplined and develop problem-solving skills on how to change an undesired behavior to a more effective behavior with a more desirable result.

Reinforcing consequences and resolving conflict

One approach I use in my classroom with students who “choose” to consistently make poor choices is I have the “W conversation” with them. The goal is to get them to talk about why they chose to make that poor choice, what did they do, who did it affect, and what should they have done and why, what the resulting consequence is for their action, and then what they will do next time they are in a similar situation. This holds a child accountable for their actions and promotes a greater self-awareness of the magnitude of the choices they make. It demonstrates cause and effect of their actions on others, giving them a second chance to make the right decision and never judging them as “bad,” but rather the choices they made as “poor” but correctable next time.

In my best-selling book, The Ultimate Guide to Raising Teens and Tweens, I discuss the different types of discipline strategies in greater depth and how you can apply them to a variety of situations with your teen or tween.

To Setting Limits And Raising A Child To Become Unlimited In Their Potential!